This is the last day of the year
they call it new years eve
look back at all the memories
this year you’re going to leave
Some you will cherish always
and keep for all it’s worth
because someone close to you
has been gifted with a birth
Some others you wish to forget
but know you never will
for someone close passed over
and some were never ill
Some will be very pleasant
and close to your heart
sit down and list the good things
back to January make a start
So when you feel unhappy
in the new upcoming year
sit down and read your memories
and smile from ear to ear
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Reid Legacy
When Reid pass away in May of this year after a few month I decide I need to start
Cleaning up his room I ask my self what was I to do with all this junk
All his tools . I thought to my self is this all that is left of Reid is his wood working tool and left over wood
And the thing he love to make. what does one do with thing, Is that really all that is left of a person after he leave this world .
Then in a school parking on a cold December night after watching a school play that Cheyenne was in .I Cammie & Jared ,Brian & Kollette and the kids was stand around talking a Brian brought me this little Christmas Tree that he had made to put on his Dad’s headstone ,That when I discovered Reid’s Legacy It was his love to created thing as Brian does as Cammie does with her card as Any does.
His talent in created thing is what he past down to he’s Children . This is Reid’s legacy that well be past down from generation to generation. As each of us hold are touch some thing Reid made renumber it was done with love.
Renumber as Christmas time come It’s not the gift we give are how much we spent
On those gift that our children will renumber .it’s the time they are doing something and they will stop and think my( Mom are Dad ) did this, This is our Legacy to our children to are grandchildren .
.
Cleaning up his room I ask my self what was I to do with all this junk
All his tools . I thought to my self is this all that is left of Reid is his wood working tool and left over wood
And the thing he love to make. what does one do with thing, Is that really all that is left of a person after he leave this world .
Then in a school parking on a cold December night after watching a school play that Cheyenne was in .I Cammie & Jared ,Brian & Kollette and the kids was stand around talking a Brian brought me this little Christmas Tree that he had made to put on his Dad’s headstone ,That when I discovered Reid’s Legacy It was his love to created thing as Brian does as Cammie does with her card as Any does.
His talent in created thing is what he past down to he’s Children . This is Reid’s legacy that well be past down from generation to generation. As each of us hold are touch some thing Reid made renumber it was done with love.
Renumber as Christmas time come It’s not the gift we give are how much we spent
On those gift that our children will renumber .it’s the time they are doing something and they will stop and think my( Mom are Dad ) did this, This is our Legacy to our children to are grandchildren .
.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Happy Birthday to me......
Okay so Lynne really isn't posting this. This post is from her daughter. Because I thought it would be an even better surprise to post it on her blog and not mine. Today is my mom's birthday and according to her she is 15 today. Which makes me really young so that is okay with me. Seriously though I wanted to wish her a very Happy Birthday.
My mom is an amazing person and I draw inspiration from her strength and ability to endure and adapt. It's been a long year and things have not alway went the way we though they should, but she has stood strong and overcame every obstacle that has been thrown at her.
My mom is an amazing person and I draw inspiration from her strength and ability to endure and adapt. It's been a long year and things have not alway went the way we though they should, but she has stood strong and overcame every obstacle that has been thrown at her.
Happy Birthday Mom! I hope you have a wonderful day!
I LOVE YOU!!!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Summer High & Lows
Got my letter from Head start today can you believe summer is almost over and soon the winds of winter
Will blow in the snow ,Like all you guys it’s been a fun summer we had our share of up and down .The worse was losing Reid It was so hard to let him go ,But with all my Family and the Children I’m learning to cope with his passing ,it been hard and I’m still coping The only thing I really have learn is I should had pay more attention to what he was tell me and we should get rid of all the junk sooner
The lighter side of summer was our trip to Moab and getting lose on the mountain at midnight knowing that the trucks was with 2 miles and we could not find the trail back ,Thanks to Cheyenne and her belief in Heavenly Father and Grampa Reid she ask them to lead us back to the trucks and with in a hour we were back and had the 4 wheelers load to head back to the trailer. Our 4 of July trip to otter creek what turn
Out we had to stay in Circleville that was more fun then ever there is nothing like a small town on the 4 of July on thing that made it fun is Cammie came down and stay with me in the trailer we were woke up at 5 in the morning with a load bang and it just keep going &going but the sound seen to moving around the town turn out to be the Fire truck wakening up the town to come to the pancake breakfast after the it was time for the parade ATV tractors ,horse, bikes all kids of strange thing were in this parade
And candy I think they had bought ever piece of candy in Richfield & ever little town around there as the grandkids came back with a sack full of course the big people had to take their share, Jared can down for the day so off to otter creek we went did a little fishing and 4 wheeling and then the fireworks over the lake .
On the 14 of Jul we have a Birthday party for Reid the Cammie & Kollete had plan this party before Reid die so we thought we go a head and have it all the children was there also all the grand kids there was lots of food laughter and tears ,Then off to Strawberry with the 4 wheelers a few day of fun a short turning in to a 5 hour ride (never trust Brain ) but one thing about him he knows how to fine so interesting trails to ride on. The 24 of July brought the hometown celebration so off to the parade the Family went then back home to a BBQ games fireworks ,off to Daniel canyon for a more fun the first night we got there it rain four 7 hours the good thing it was at night the bad thing my trailer leak the good thing we fix the lead the bad thing my bed was wet ,good thing it dry out all was well Home again for a few day s then back to Strawberry for a few days I just stay with Brian & Kollette this time ,more 4 wheel ride a lot of games of phase 10 oh yes always phase 10 for hours & house we play this game ,For years Reid and I ,Brain & Kollette went down to otter creek at least 2 time a years so went it got hot we would go to the trailer and play phase 10 after a while Reid would say (We came down here to fish not play phase 10) ,he Kids and I are heading down to otter creek for Labor day weekend it well be a good trip as all the kids and a few grand kids are planning to come down to Reid favorite playground and yes Reid's favorite Fishing Chair will be there.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
When I,m An Old Lady
When I'm an old lady, I'll live with my kids, And make their life happy and filled with such fun, I want to pay back all the joy they provided, Returning each deed. Oh, they so excited .....When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.
I'll write on the wall with red, white, and blue; And bounce on the furniture wearing my shoes. I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out. I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, will they shout! .....When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.
When their on the phone and just out of reach, I'll get into things like sugar and bleach. Oh, they snap their fingers and then shake their heads, And when their done I'll hide under the bed. .....When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.
When they cooks dinner and calls me to meals, I'll not eat my green beans or salads congealed. I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table, And when they gets angry, I'll as run fast as I'm able. ..... When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.
I'll sit close to the TV, thru the channels I'll click, I'll cross both my eyes to see if they stick, I'll take off my socks and throw one away, And play in the mud until the end of the day. .....When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.
And later, in bed, I'll lay back and sigh, And thank God in prayer and then close my eyes; And they will look down with a smile slowly creeping, And say with a groan, "she's so sweet when she's sleeping," .....When I'm an old lady and live with kids.
I'll write on the wall with red, white, and blue; And bounce on the furniture wearing my shoes. I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out. I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, will they shout! .....When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.
When their on the phone and just out of reach, I'll get into things like sugar and bleach. Oh, they snap their fingers and then shake their heads, And when their done I'll hide under the bed. .....When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.
When they cooks dinner and calls me to meals, I'll not eat my green beans or salads congealed. I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table, And when they gets angry, I'll as run fast as I'm able. ..... When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.
I'll sit close to the TV, thru the channels I'll click, I'll cross both my eyes to see if they stick, I'll take off my socks and throw one away, And play in the mud until the end of the day. .....When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.
And later, in bed, I'll lay back and sigh, And thank God in prayer and then close my eyes; And they will look down with a smile slowly creeping, And say with a groan, "she's so sweet when she's sleeping," .....When I'm an old lady and live with kids.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Julie Andrews new song
Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,Bundles of magazines tied up in string,These are a few of my favorite things.Cadillacs and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses,Polident and Fixo! dent and false teeth in glasses,Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,These are a few of my favorite things.When the pipes leak,When the bones creak,When the knees go bad,I simply remember my favorite things,And then I don't feel so bad.Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,These are a few of my favorite things.Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin,Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinin,And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,When we remember our favorite things.When the joints ache, when the hips break,When the eyes grow dim,Then I remember the great life I've had,And then I don't feel so bad.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Memories of Me
So, I've seen this on a few blogs and I thought it would be fun. See the instructions below.
This will be fun especially if everyone and I do mean EVERYONE will join in!This is just too fun to pass up.Here are the directions:
1. As a comment on my blog, leave a memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember, good or bad but be nice please! ;)
2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.
Come on all my blog followers... I want to post some about you, let's see this on your blog!!!
This will be fun especially if everyone and I do mean EVERYONE will join in!This is just too fun to pass up.Here are the directions:
1. As a comment on my blog, leave a memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember, good or bad but be nice please! ;)
2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.
Come on all my blog followers... I want to post some about you, let's see this on your blog!!!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
There is a Old lady liveing in my house
An old lady has moved into my house. She usually keeps out of sight but when I pass a mirror, there she is obliterating my gorgeous face and body.
I think she is stealing money from me, I go to the ATM and withdraw $100.00 and a few days later it is gone. I don't spend money that fast.
My food is disappearing at an alarming rate, especially the good stuff like cookies, ice cream and candy. and then she's been tampering with my scale to make me think I've put on weight.
She is quite childish, likes to play games like going into my closets when I'm not home altering my clothes so that they don't fit, she messes with my files and papers so I can't find anything, also fiddles with my VCR so it doesn't record what I have programmed.
She gets to the newspaper and mail before I can and blurs the print so I can't read anything, then did something to my TV and telephone volume so all I can hear is mumbles and whispers.
She has done other things, like made my stairs steeper, my vacuum heavier, my knobs and faucets harder to turn.
She has made my bed higher, glues my lids on jars so it's impossible for me to open them.
She has taken the fun out of shopping for clothes.
She stands in front of me in the mirror and monopolizes it, looking ridiculous in some of those outfits that look so great on me.
Just when I thought she couldn't get any meaner, she came along with me to get my picture taken for my driver's licence and jumped in front of me before the camera clicked.
No one is going to believe that the picture of that old lady is me.
I think she is stealing money from me, I go to the ATM and withdraw $100.00 and a few days later it is gone. I don't spend money that fast.
My food is disappearing at an alarming rate, especially the good stuff like cookies, ice cream and candy. and then she's been tampering with my scale to make me think I've put on weight.
She is quite childish, likes to play games like going into my closets when I'm not home altering my clothes so that they don't fit, she messes with my files and papers so I can't find anything, also fiddles with my VCR so it doesn't record what I have programmed.
She gets to the newspaper and mail before I can and blurs the print so I can't read anything, then did something to my TV and telephone volume so all I can hear is mumbles and whispers.
She has done other things, like made my stairs steeper, my vacuum heavier, my knobs and faucets harder to turn.
She has made my bed higher, glues my lids on jars so it's impossible for me to open them.
She has taken the fun out of shopping for clothes.
She stands in front of me in the mirror and monopolizes it, looking ridiculous in some of those outfits that look so great on me.
Just when I thought she couldn't get any meaner, she came along with me to get my picture taken for my driver's licence and jumped in front of me before the camera clicked.
No one is going to believe that the picture of that old lady is me.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Things it took me 50 years to learn
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
10. Never lick a steak knife.
11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
12. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
19. Your friends love you anyway.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
10. Never lick a steak knife.
11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
12. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
19. Your friends love you anyway.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Back in time
I want to go back to the time when.....................Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!""Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly."Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening.It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.Being old, referred to anyone over 20.The net on a tennis court was the perfect height to play volleyball and rules didn't matter.The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.It was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb.It was unbelievable that dodgeball wasn't an Olympic event.Having a weapon in school, meant being caught with a slingshot.Nobody was prettier than Mom.Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park.Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare."Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute ads for action figures.No shopping trip was complete, unless a new toy was brought home."Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense.Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.War was a card game.Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.Ice cream was considered a basic food group (and STILL is as far as I am concerned!!)Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors.If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!!I DOUBLE DOG DARE YA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Seven wonders of the world
A group of students were asked to list what they thought were the present "Seven wonders of the world." Though there were some disagreements the following received the most votes.
1. Egypt's Great Pyramids
2.Taj Mahal
3.Grand Canyon
4.Panama Canal
5.Empire State building
6.St. Peters Basilica
7.China's Great Wall
While gathering the votes the teacher notice one student had not finished her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite decide as there were so many."
The Teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help."
The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the "Seven wonders of the World' are:
1. To See
2. To Hear
3. To Touch
4. To Taste
5. To Feel
6. To laugh
7. To Love
1. Egypt's Great Pyramids
2.Taj Mahal
3.Grand Canyon
4.Panama Canal
5.Empire State building
6.St. Peters Basilica
7.China's Great Wall
While gathering the votes the teacher notice one student had not finished her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite decide as there were so many."
The Teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help."
The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the "Seven wonders of the World' are:
1. To See
2. To Hear3. To Touch4. To Taste5. To Feel6. To laugh 7. To Love
Friday, April 4, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
How To Stay Young,Happy & Health
Throw out non-essential numbers.
This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctor worry about them.
That is why you pay him/her.
Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
If you really need a grouch,
there are probably a few dozen of your relatives
to do the job.
Keep learning.
Learn more about
the computer, crafts, gardening ...whatever.
Just never let the brain idle.
Enjoy the simple things.
When the children are young...
that is all that you can afford.
When they are in college...
that is all that you can afford.
When they are grown and you are on retirement...
that is all that you can afford!
Laugh often, long and loud.
Laugh until you gasp for breath.
Laugh so much that you can be tracked in the store by your distinctive
laughter.
The tears happen.
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life is
... ourselves.
Surround yourself with what you love,
whether it is family, pets, keepsakes,
music, plants, hobbies ... whatever.
Your home is your refuge.
Cherish your health.
If it is good ... preserve it.
If it is unstable ... improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve ... get help.
Don't take guilt trips.
Go to the mall, the next county, a foreign country... but not guilt.
Tell the people you love,
that you love them ...
at every opportunity.
Words to live by!
Remember ...
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctor worry about them.
That is why you pay him/her.
Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
If you really need a grouch,
there are probably a few dozen of your relatives
to do the job.
Keep learning.
Learn more about
the computer, crafts, gardening ...whatever.
Just never let the brain idle.
Enjoy the simple things.
When the children are young...
that is all that you can afford.
When they are in college...
that is all that you can afford.
When they are grown and you are on retirement...
that is all that you can afford!
Laugh often, long and loud.
Laugh until you gasp for breath.
Laugh so much that you can be tracked in the store by your distinctive
laughter.
The tears happen.
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life is
... ourselves.
Surround yourself with what you love,
whether it is family, pets, keepsakes,
music, plants, hobbies ... whatever.
Your home is your refuge.
Cherish your health.
If it is good ... preserve it.
If it is unstable ... improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve ... get help.
Don't take guilt trips.
Go to the mall, the next county, a foreign country... but not guilt.
Tell the people you love,
that you love them ...
at every opportunity.
Words to live by!
Remember ...
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Chocolate Bunny
Chocolate Easter bunny
In a jelly bean nest,
I'm saving you for very last
Because I love you best.
I'll only take a nibble
From the tip of your ear
And one bite from the other side
So that you won't look queer.
Yum, your'e so delicious!
I didn't mean to eat
Your chocolate tail till Tuesday.
Ooops! There go your feet!
I wonder how your back tastes
With all that chocolate hair.
I never thought your tummy
Was only filled with air!
Chocolate Easter bunny
In a jelly bean nest,
I'm saving you for very last
Because I love you best.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
The Great Truth About Life
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE
LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) Never trust a dog to watch your food.
6) Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
7) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
8) Puppies still have bad breath, even after eating a tic-tac.
9) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
10) School lunches stick to the wall.
11) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
12) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
13) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look..
For example, I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
3) One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day,
someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
4) Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due.
5) The best way to keep kids at home is to make a
pleasant atmosphere and let the air out of their tires.
6) Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
7) Remember the strong oak tree in your backyard
is just a nut that held its ground.
8) Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside.
9) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
10) My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely.
11) If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
3) You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your
shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same
sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: They
would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
6) One of life's mysteries is how a two ounce bag
of candy can make person gain five pounds.
7) I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
8) There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full.
9) Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
10) The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then
your body and your fat are really good friends.
11) Age doesn't always bring wisdom.Sometimes age comes alone.
12) Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
13) Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.
14) Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they
can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) Never trust a dog to watch your food.
6) Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
7) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
8) Puppies still have bad breath, even after eating a tic-tac.
9) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
10) School lunches stick to the wall.
11) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
12) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
13) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look..
For example, I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
3) One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day,
someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
4) Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due.
5) The best way to keep kids at home is to make a
pleasant atmosphere and let the air out of their tires.
6) Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
7) Remember the strong oak tree in your backyard
is just a nut that held its ground.
8) Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside.
9) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
10) My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely.
11) If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
3) You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your
shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same
sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: They
would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
6) One of life's mysteries is how a two ounce bag
of candy can make person gain five pounds.
7) I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
8) There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full.
9) Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
10) The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then
your body and your fat are really good friends.
11) Age doesn't always bring wisdom.Sometimes age comes alone.
12) Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
13) Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.
14) Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they
can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
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