1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
10. Never lick a steak knife.
11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
12. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
19. Your friends love you anyway.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Back in time
I want to go back to the time when.....................Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!""Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly."Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening.It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.Being old, referred to anyone over 20.The net on a tennis court was the perfect height to play volleyball and rules didn't matter.The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.It was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb.It was unbelievable that dodgeball wasn't an Olympic event.Having a weapon in school, meant being caught with a slingshot.Nobody was prettier than Mom.Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park.Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare."Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute ads for action figures.No shopping trip was complete, unless a new toy was brought home."Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense.Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.War was a card game.Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.Ice cream was considered a basic food group (and STILL is as far as I am concerned!!)Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors.If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!!I DOUBLE DOG DARE YA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
